Saturday 28 May 2016

Migrant Labour



Thanks to the free migration of European labour, SeƱor Iggy joined the Saturday team at Farmborough for their duel with Bath Exiles, one of whom had presumably been exiled a bit too far away, leaving them a man short.

RT1 won the toss and opted to bowl in muggy conditions under an overcast sky, with a full armoury of bowlers up his sleeve. While he took the new ball down the hill and bowled a customary tidy spell, Max (no headroom) wheeled and sprang from the bottom end and explored the batsmen's corridor, finding swing and bounce and passing the bat or finding edges on numerous occasions, one of which Pete was unlucky not to cling on to at slip. Both runs and a breakthrough were hard to come by as the score ever so slowly crept along. Talking of which, at one point, Exile opener Ozzie Brian removed hs gloves and appeared to dig in the crease behind him and remove a worm, or perhaps a witchetty grub to augment his tea later, placing it several feet behind him. As he resumed his stance, Westy remarked that it was on its way back.

Iggy replaced Max, with his new 2-step run up, conceding a few runs at first until he received a knock on the head and improved considerably, taking a sharp return catch to remove one opener and then conspiring with Ollie, keen as mustard with horseradish and chilli sauce, to have the other one stumped. It was about the twelfth appeal for a stumping that Ollie had uttered, at least a couple of which should have been referred upstairs, if such a thing had existed.

Meanwhile, once he'd wrenched the ball from Michael's hands, your correspondent had started a spell down the hill and seemed to be getting away with it, though it was Iggy who claimed the scalps of the two new batsmen with successive balls, bowling one with a peach and trapping the other plumb lbw first ball with a pomegranate. With all that fruit around, a crumble was on the cards : Exiles plummeted from 60-0 to 67-4 which soon became 72-7 after Max took a smart catch above his head at mid-off, Raj swooped to pouch one in the covers and a 79 year old batsman played his stumps instead of the ball. Iggy finished with 4-20, the other one 3-11.

With both bowlers completing full spells, Michael was by now salivating to be given the chance to bowl and not best pleased that Ollie put a snick to ground in his first over, having caught and stopped pretty much everything else all day. Raj came on from the other end and wrapped it all up in five balls, thanks to an astonishing catch by Happy in the covers, where he leaped to his left and somehow curled an outstretched paw around the ball to make it stick. Like his T-shirt said, 'Top Boy' and naturally the Cider Moment. Two balls later Raj bowled the last man and Exiles had lost 9 wickets for 20 runs to be all out for 80.

Thanks to Ollie and cooperative scurrying about, we had tea. There was enough to feed the spectators, comprising two men and a dog.

Raj and Iggy opened the batting as Cliff the visiting scorer, still eating tea from a china plate that he'd brought with him, confessed that their bowling wasn't up to much either. Two boundaries from the first over suggested that he could be right. Westy insisted on conducting another Torygraph quiz and for a while everyone lost a portion of their brains to trivia and shouted out random words

The batting was exemplary, both openers determined to play balls on merit, work the ball around for singles and blast boundaries from the loose stuff. Iggy thundered a ball into the chest of the aforementioned soon-to-be octogenarian, fielding at square leg, which would have startled anyone's ticker, but the old boy looked unruffled and had saved a certain boundary. There may have been a drop and a half chance or two, but it was mostly straight bats, high elbows and wrists and a pleasure to watch. It was a bit of a shame when the total was surpassed in the 15th over with Raj undefeated for a stylish 35 and Iggy on a dangerously-close-to-a-double-jug avoiding 43 as the Cowboys won by 10 wickets. The Malaga migrant unanimously won the Man of the Match vote, while 'Top Boy' Happy's catch will be hard to beat all summer.

Scorecard

Saturday 7 May 2016

Stanton Drew (A)


As your correspondent and Evan were responsibly rehydrating out the back of the Plough at blah o'clock on Saturday/Sunday, a divine being approached with a crystal ball, slightly heavier than the regulation 5 3/4 ounces, on which she proceeded to work wonders with her fingers. Sadly, she didn't seem that enamoured with the art of spin bowling nor, oddly, interested in the folk lore of the Stanton Drew Stone Circle, although her mate did show a keen interest in football. Anyway, she was a bit late. We'd definitely ordered the crystal ball to be delivered in the morning of our return match with Stanton Drew.

Not that we didn't know what to expect; the Bailey Bros. circus in their own back yard. And what a back yard, nestled at the edge of the Mendips, a stone's throw from the Iron Age fort at Maes Knoll, the sweet aroma of silage, dung and Easy Jet fuel permeating the atmosphere.

With RT1 out injured but very present, Raj took the helm, lost the toss and was asked to bat. Happy and Ev opened, but after taking a brisk six runs from the first over, runs were hard to find on a pitch that didn't always play true and both were bowled with the total barely in double figures.

New batsmen Raj and Phil played watchfully, some deliveries climbing alarmingly, others keeping low, but when Phil was caught and Angelo strode to whe wicket the Cowboys were in trouble at 12-3. Still the runs wouldn't come, but now it was good shots that by chance found fielders and the damp outfield which slowed the ball up. Unable to settle in and repeat his form from the previous week's encounter, Ange was caught behind with the score on 25 and plucky Ollie – I think that's what I heard – joined Raj.

Slowly the pair started to forge a partnership, the meagre run rate causing some spectators to seek alternative entertainment, namely the infamous playboy and Murdoch scribe Westy, who conducted a quiz from the pages of the Torygraph and Michael, who enlightened us with his recent knowledge acquired from watching a documentary about 'Animals What Fly'.

Meanwhile, Raj was batting assuredly and superbly, finding threes and fours in the deep outfield, ably assisted by Ollie who was also starting to find gaps in the field. After the slow start, the total didn't reach 50 until after the drinks break, but thereafter it picked up momentum as first Raj and Ollie completed their 50 partnership, then took the total past 100. Eventually, it was that man RB, returning with the ball from the top end, who had Ollie in a tangle with his favoured swivel pull and, lest we forget last week, demolished his own furniture and was hit wicket for an essential 39.

Cruising beyond his half-century, Raj was joined by Rob who helped to keep the momentum going with a few hearty blows before being caught behind with the score on 140-6. Heading into the final overs, Chris helped Raj push the score towards more batting points, but then Raj edged behind for a text book 71 and it was left to Michael to scurry up and down and wring out the last possible runs from the innings which closed on 152-7.

Tea was a heavy carbohydrate affair and suffered from the lack of a greengrocer in the village and water in the tap.

Defending four an over, Michael – who was struggling with pulled quads after batting – and Nick opened the bowling against RB and one of the opposition's lower order batsman, who had difficulty laying a bat on Michael's deliveries from the top end. No such problem for RB, who, despite Nick's tidy bowling, pounced on anything a tad full or short and smote it straight or long, and in one case straight at the bowler, who did well to even get his hands up in time, especially after last week's skull-cracker. Technically a chance, which were few and as difficult.

Evan replaced a hobbling Michael, who'd nevertheless bowled a remarkably tight spell to keep the game alive. Soon after, the right-hander mistimed one to point, where Rob M calmly pouched it after it hung in the air for a while. Chris replaced Nick, unafraid to give it some air, but after a quiet first over, RB assaulted his second, exclaiming, "Well, if it's up there, I'm going to whack it aren't I?"

Skipper Raj stepped up to replace Chris, bowling flatter and quicker and soon earning both verbal and defensive respect from his adversary. This was some tightly economical bowling against Bailey the bludgeoner, now subdued and not scoring as freely as he was accustomed. As ever, Ollie ferreted around behind the stumps and scurried out in front of them, alert to any half chance or stolen single.

By the time your correspondent came on to bowl he'd also twanged both quads and seen enough of RB to anticipate a drubbing. Sometimes, it's just so hard to get the ball to go straight, nevermind the agricultural incline of the pitch, or so it seemed as several balls veered off towards the village, extras increased and Ollie took more blows to the body. The second over was a bit better.

Perspectives naturally vary, depending on where you stand on a cricket field. Ollie swears that it was a dirty grubber that didn't bounce at all, but the image that's coming with me to my grave is of the ball hitting a third of the way up RB's middle stump, to deprive him of another century and get the Cowboys back into the match: 115-2

By now, the aforementioned Westy was finding the cricket more interesting than journalism and his lone voice of support was not only welcome but filled the vacuum left by the absence of the braying Bailey clan.

Raj bowled another tight one before another Bailey hit across a straight one and in our imaginations the stumps and bails flashed vivid orange. The excitement ramped up even more the next over when Raj hit the Stanton Warrior No.3 on his pads and after a small delay, umpire RT1 lunged forward with his finger aloft. “Shocking”, said the square leg umpire, who presumably had a better vantage point:120-4.

Despite the Cowboys best efforts, the opposition's middle order wasn't going to squander the opportunity of having a bat and knocking off the remaining runs, which they did with four overs to go without losing any more wickets.

We reconvened in the garden of the Druids' Arms, where Raj received the Man of the Match vote for his quiet and outstanding talent with bat and ball, while the Cider Moment was finally seeing the back of RB, after he'd scored 277 runs against us this year, although we didn't really need a crystal ball to foresee the possibility.

http://cowboys.play-cricket.com/website/results/2635381