View From The Mound Stand

Scorecard

Migrant Labour

Thanks to the free migration of European labour, Señor Iggy joined the Saturday team at Farmborough for their duel with Bath Exiles, one of whom had presumably been exiled a bit too far away, leaving them a man short.

RT1 won the toss and opted to bowl in muggy conditions under an overcast sky, with a full armoury of bowlers up his sleeve. While he took the new ball down the hill and bowled a customary tidy spell, Max (no headroom) wheeled and sprang from the bottom end and explored the batsmen's corridor, finding swing and bounce and passing the bat or finding edges on numerous occasions, one of which Pete was unlucky not to cling on to at slip. Both runs and a breakthrough were hard to come by as the score ever so slowly crept along. Talking of which, at one point, Exile opener Ozzie Brian removed hs gloves and appeared to dig in the crease behind him and remove a worm, or perhaps a witchetty grub to augment his tea later, placing it several feet behind him. As he resumed his stance, Westy remarked that it was on its way back.

Iggy replaced Max, with his new 2-step run up, conceding a few runs at first until he received a knock on the head and improved considerably, taking a sharp return catch to remove one opener and then conspiring with Ollie, keen as mustard with horseradish and chilli sauce, to have the other one stumped. It was about the twelfth appeal for a stumping that Ollie had uttered, at least a couple of which should have been referred upstairs, if such a thing had existed.

Meanwhile, once he'd wrenched the ball from Michael's hands, your correspondent had started a spell down the hill and seemed to be getting away with it, though it was Iggy who claimed the scalps of the two new batsmen with successive balls, bowling one with a peach and trapping the other plumb lbw first ball with a pomegranate. With all that fruit around, a crumble was on the cards : Exiles plummeted from 60-0 to 67-4 which soon became 72-7 after Max took a smart catch above his head at mid-off, Raj swooped to pouch one in the covers and a 79 year old batsman played his stumps instead of the ball. Iggy finished with 4-20, the other one 3-11.

With both bowlers completing full spells, Michael was by now salivating to be given the chance to bowl and not best pleased that Ollie put a snick to ground in his first over, having caught and stopped pretty much everything else all day. Raj came on from the other end and wrapped it all up in five balls, thanks to an astonishing catch by Happy in the covers, where he leaped to his left and somehow curled an outstretched paw around the ball to make it stick. Like his T-shirt said, 'Top Boy' and naturally the Cider Moment. Two balls later Raj bowled the last man and Exiles had lost 9 wickets for 20 runs to be all out for 80.

Thanks to Ollie and cooperative scurrying about, we had tea. There was enough to feed the spectators, comprising two men and a dog.

Raj and Iggy opened the batting as Cliff the visiting scorer, still eating tea from a china plate that he'd brought with him, confessed that their bowling wasn't up to much either. Two boundaries from the first over suggested that he could be right. Westy insisted on conducting another Torygraph quiz and for a while everyone lost a portion of their brains to trivia and shouted out random words

The batting was exemplary, both openers determined to play balls on merit, work the ball around for singles and blast boundaries from the loose stuff. Iggy thundered a ball into the chest of the aforementioned soon-to-be octogenarian, fielding at square leg, which would have startled anyone's ticker, but the old boy looked unruffled and had saved a certain boundary. There may have been a drop and a half chance or two, but it was mostly straight bats, high elbows and wrists and a pleasure to watch. It was a bit of a shame when the total was surpassed in the 15th over with Raj undefeated for a stylish 35 and Iggy on a dangerously-close-to-a-double-jug avoiding 43 as the Cowboys won by 10 wickets. The Malaga migrant unanimously won the Man of the Match vote, while 'Top Boy' Happy's catch will be hard to beat all summer.

Scorecard

Stanton Drew (A)

As your correspondent and Evan were responsibly rehydrating out the back of the Plough at blah o'clock on Saturday/Sunday, a divine being approached with a crystal ball, slightly heavier than the regulation 5 3/4 ounces, on which she proceeded to work wonders with her fingers. Sadly, she didn't seem that enamoured with the art of spin bowling nor, oddly, interested in the folk lore of the Stanton Drew Stone Circle, although her mate did show a keen interest in football. Anyway, she was a bit late. We'd definitely ordered the crystal ball to be delivered in the morning of our return match with Stanton Drew.

Not that we didn't know what to expect; the Bailey Bros. circus in their own back yard. And what a back yard, nestled at the edge of the Mendips, a stone's throw from the Iron Age fort at Maes Knoll, the sweet aroma of silage, dung and Easy Jet fuel permeating the atmosphere.

With RT1 out injured but very present, Raj took the helm, lost the toss and was asked to bat. Happy and Ev opened, but after taking a brisk six runs from the first over, runs were hard to find on a pitch that didn't always play true and both were bowled with the total barely in double figures.

New batsmen Raj and Phil played watchfully, some deliveries climbing alarmingly, others keeping low, but when Phil was caught and Angelo strode to whe wicket the Cowboys were in trouble at 12-3. Still the runs wouldn't come, but now it was good shots that by chance found fielders and the damp outfield which slowed the ball up. Unable to settle in and repeat his form from the previous week's encounter, Ange was caught behind with the score on 25 and plucky Ollie – I think that's what I heard – joined Raj.

Slowly the pair started to forge a partnership, the meagre run rate causing some spectators to seek alternative entertainment, namely the infamous playboy and Murdoch scribe Westy, who conducted a quiz from the pages of the Torygraph and Michael, who enlightened us with his recent knowledge acquired from watching a documentary about 'Animals What Fly'.

Meanwhile, Raj was batting assuredly and superbly, finding threes and fours in the deep outfield, ably assisted by Ollie who was also starting to find gaps in the field. After the slow start, the total didn't reach 50 until after the drinks break, but thereafter it picked up momentum as first Raj and Ollie completed their 50 partnership, then took the total past 100. Eventually, it was that man RB, returning with the ball from the top end, who had Ollie in a tangle with his favoured swivel pull and, lest we forget last week, demolished his own furniture and was hit wicket for an essential 39.

Cruising beyond his half-century, Raj was joined by Rob who helped to keep the momentum going with a few hearty blows before being caught behind with the score on 140-6. Heading into the final overs, Chris helped Raj push the score towards more batting points, but then Raj edged behind for a text book 71 and it was left to Michael to scurry up and down and wring out the last possible runs from the innings which closed on 152-7.

Tea was a heavy carbohydrate affair and suffered from the lack of a greengrocer in the village and water in the tap.

Defending four an over, Michael – who was struggling with pulled quads after batting – and Nick opened the bowling against RB and one of the opposition's lower order batsman, who had difficulty laying a bat on Michael's deliveries from the top end. No such problem for RB, who, despite Nick's tidy bowling, pounced on anything a tad full or short and smote it straight or long, and in one case straight at the bowler, who did well to even get his hands up in time, especially after last week's skull-cracker. Technically a chance, which were few and as difficult.

Evan replaced a hobbling Michael, who'd nevertheless bowled a remarkably tight spell to keep the game alive. Soon after, the right-hander mistimed one to point, where Rob M calmly pouched it after it hung in the air for a while. Chris replaced Nick, unafraid to give it some air, but after a quiet first over, RB assaulted his second, exclaiming, "Well, if it's up there, I'm going to whack it aren't I?"

Skipper Raj stepped up to replace Chris, bowling flatter and quicker and soon earning both verbal and defensive respect from his adversary. This was some tightly economical bowling against Bailey the bludgeoner, now subdued and not scoring as freely as he was accustomed. As ever, Ollie ferreted around behind the stumps and scurried out in front of them, alert to any half chance or stolen single.

By the time your correspondent came on to bowl he'd also twanged both quads and seen enough of RB to anticipate a drubbing. Sometimes, it's just so hard to get the ball to go straight, nevermind the agricultural incline of the pitch, or so it seemed as several balls veered off towards the village, extras increased and Ollie took more blows to the body. The second over was a bit better.

Perspectives naturally vary, depending on where you stand on a cricket field. Ollie swears that it was a dirty grubber that didn't bounce at all, but the image that's coming with me to my grave is of the ball hitting a third of the way up RB's middle stump, to deprive him of another century and get the Cowboys back into the match: 115-2

By now, the aforementioned Westy was finding the cricket more interesting than journalism and his lone voice of support was not only welcome but filled the vacuum left by the absence of the braying Bailey clan.

Raj bowled another tight one before another Bailey hit across a straight one and in our imaginations the stumps and bails flashed vivid orange. The excitement ramped up even more the next over when Raj hit the Stanton Warrior No.3 on his pads and after a small delay, umpire RT1 lunged forward with his finger aloft. “Shocking”, said the square leg umpire, who presumably had a better vantage point:120-4.

Despite the Cowboys best efforts, the opposition's middle order wasn't going to squander the opportunity of having a bat and knocking off the remaining runs, which they did with four overs to go without losing any more wickets.

We reconvened in the garden of the Druids' Arms, where Raj received the Man of the Match vote for his quiet and outstanding talent with bat and ball, while the Cider Moment was finally seeing the back of RB, after he'd scored 277 runs against us this year, although we didn't really need a crystal ball to foresee the possibility.

http://cowboys.play-cricket.com/website/results/2635381

Stanton Drew (H)

Roll up, roll up for the Bailey Brothers' Circus, featuring death-defying stunts and stump-smashing action from the Easton Cowboys under a big top thunderous inky black late April sky.

The Saturday XI made their way to Farmborough, -1 who went to Stanton Drew, whose offbeat tactics are to be applauded in theory but ridiculed in practice. Remarkably, the skipper didn't fine him, nor insist on a fine for those who made mention of how freaking cold it was, although this foolishly squandered the opportunity of making about a squillion quid for the club.

Winning the toss, the skip asked Stanton Drew if they fancied batting, and if there's anyone who likes batting, and giving everyone else a running commentary on how he's batting, it's the Stanton Drew opener, RB. “I like an athlete who takes it seriously”, he said, as we stood having a puff before the game, before we wheezed our way onto the slightly damp but well prepared field.

RT1 and Michael opened the Cowboys' attack, but alack, the skip pulled his intercostals and had to cut his spell short after a couple of overs. Michael speared some fiery Garner-esque deliveries (Joel, not Rich) and might have had the chief clown caught at point, had your correspondent pounced on a half-chance rather than looking like some idiot who hadn't played a game for 20 months. Making his debut for the Cowboys, Happy replaced RT1 from the red roof end, but both openers were punishing anything short and looking as menacing as the thunderous sky. A shower forced the players from the field for ten minutes but it was to be the only interruption of the afternoon.

After the resumption, during a spell that saw him several times end up in a heap on the ground with sheer exertion, Michael bowled the right-handed opener with a peach that hit the top of off stump. With the score already on 70, the first of two, potentially three pairs of Baileys was now at the wicket, adding another 50 before your correspondent, getting some rubbish out of his system, bowled one that was spooned in the air for a straightforward catch. Back in the fold, Jules had replaced Happy and once he'd warmed up, kept both batsmen alert with a fine spell that was to be the most economical of the innings, bowling the new batsman before he'd reached double figures.

At the other end however, the batsman was reaching three figures and missing very little. A pleasure then to very nearly york him, but having tied him up for a couple of overs, your correspondent finished off his spell by bowling a few that sat up in the turgid spring sod and were carted over the boundary, far away. Debutant Max suffered the same fate with his first ball, dug in close to his ankles and ballooning up for RB to swat towards the next field, but when he found his radar he looked a threat, hitting Ollie's gloves with real force and bowling the No.5 batsman not long after Jules' success to leave the opposition on 138-4.

Although everyone bowled their looseners, nobody bowled badly at all, but once RB had his eye in, he was off. For a few of us who'd encounterd him before, It was deja-vu all over again Brian, as we hunted down balls in the hedgerows and nesting birds darted for their lives. Mark it! When the ball actually remained within the field of play, there was some excellent Cowboys fielding along the way, especially from Happy, making remarkable effort and stops in the deep, and Max, solid and dependable. Which is not to say that when he bowled and dared to give it a bit of flight, Nick wouldn't have benefited had his supporting fielders had more catching practice beforehand and his skipper, more throwing practice ...

As percussive noises go, the sound of a cricket ball hitting a human skull isn't that groovy. It tends to make you wince and stare open mouthed, which is what we did when RT1 at mid-on attempted to throw to the stumps at the keeper's end, but miscalculated that Nick's head was in line with the trajectory. Blessedly, the air ambulance wasn't required and Nick got up and seemed to be making as much sense as usual and we carried on. Bypassing the Health & Safety Executive, this was later voted as the Cider Moment.

With the possibility of the score reaching 300 and RB 200, the reincarnated Saturday XI battled to the end with good cheer and newfound camaraderie, albeit for one tiny lapse in manners and decorum. Everyone, including some of his own team mates, was getting a little riled by the big hitting batsman's constant chatter and presence at the crease, when our frustrated keeper, unable to execute a run out, demolished the timbers in a rather ungentlemanly manner with his lower limbs. The skipper adopted parental mode and your correspondent swiftly forced mud, startled worms and stumps back into three enlarged holes.

The Cowboys eventually restricted the opposition from reaching those two landmark totals and even managed to execute a run out, although it was more a case of RB sacrificing his partner, to end up on 192 not out, from an innings total of 296-5.

Tea was hastily assembled and passed the standard for teas hastily assembled. Like the fielding, it'll get better as the season progresses.

Phil and Ahad opened the batting and tried to get to grips with the pitch, playing straight and carefully in the face of a target of more than seven an over, but when Ahad played back and was trapped on the crease, RT1 had no choice but to raise his finger (everyone ducked). Phil was next to go, caught hitting out against the same bowler to put the score on 29-2. Happy played some lofty blows that reached the boundary and raised the scoring rate, adjusting his timing after all the practice in the faster indoor nets, but was caught at mid on, off the omnipresent RB, now bowling from the top, mineshaft end.

Ollie and Angelo then very nearly compiled a 50 run partnership as they started to read the pitch and capitalise on the rather ordinary bowling that came their way. Not that all their swipes connected, with Ollie especially, managing to get himself hit a couple of times amidships while attempting sweeps to long leg and severely testing his abdominal protector's efficacy. When he was caught, at 77-4, Max joined Angelo and together they took the singles and pierced the infield to take the score beyond 100. The required run rate was creeping higher but there was still hope. Even when Max was bowled for 16, Michael strode to the wicket with hunger and intent and with Angelo now playing expansive shots and the opposition taking the opportunity of giving everyone a bowl, there were still plenty of runs to be had. "It's bloody difficult playing shit bowling though", said Ange.

After helping Angelo take the score past 150, Michael fell for 13, as did Rob and Jules after him, each having some batting practice in a match that was really long since lost, but with pride and perhaps points to play for. Angelo in the meantime had racked up a combative, resistant 50 to win the Man of the Match vote and the Cowboys had taken their total beyond 200, finishing on a competent 206-7 but losing by 90 runs.

Scorecard:
http://cowboys.play-cricket.com/website/results/2635417

Captain Fantastic! (?)

                                                Ev writes :

With Iggy away on Ange’s stag Captain Taylor took the reins for this one against our old friends Exiles. It seems Exiles are yet another team struggling to put sides out this season and for this game they had borrowed young uns from Lansdown and Stothert and Pitt CCs to make up their numbers.

The Wuns too had a bit of a reshuffle, with no Angelo, Ian or Dave T in came Steveo and Grover, and Rich O making a Wuns debut.

Despite the previous nights rain the pitch looked ok, slightly damp and rather green. On winning the toss the Landlord put Exiles in to bat. On the way out to the middle Kalu took one of the opposition youngsters, who had been assigned umpiring duties, aside for a bit of a chat. Kalu explained to the somewhat bemused lad that should he appeal for LBW it would be a mistake not to give it out, as he only appeals for deliveries that are going straight on to hit the stumps.

RT1 and Nick opened the attack and it was soon clear that their was a bit of pace in this wicket, the ball coming through quick and with decent bounce. Aussie Brian, the Exiles opener played a couple of nice square cuts early on and with a quick outfield found the boundary. At the other end a young un was finding Nicks pace difficult. It wasn’t long before Nick had him bowled, playing back to one he should’ve gone forward to.

A big appeal from Ollie and Rob had the young umpire raising the finger soon afterward, though as Brian trudged off we all agreed the noise we heard was probably ball on thighpad. Soon afterwards Rob had their number 3, who had played a few shots, plum LBW on the back leg.

Tim and Kalu took over from the openers and bowled fine economical spells, dominating the batsmen and both claiming 2 wickets apiece. Tims included a sharp catch from Ollie standing up despite the pacy wicket. And Kalu had a batsmen out Hit Wicket, had he not smashed his stumps over he could have been given out caught behind as Ollie claimed he’d also hit the ball, which ended up in Ollies gloves.

With Tim and Kalu dominating so completely nothing much was happening in the field so Nick kept himself and his teammates amused by chirping truly terrible pun laden advice to Kalu at the beginning of each over. I can’t repeat it here, but take it from me, it was bad.

At 76 for 7 Exiles seemed to be crumbling but a stubborn 8th wicket stand pushed them over the 100 mark, with the Exiles skipper playing some big shots, but when Kalu, fielding at shortish fine leg spotted him dawdling outside his crease he threw down the stumps, running him out and winning Cider Moment in the process.

Samad and Nick polished off the tail and Exiles had made 116 all out midway through the 40th over.

Tea was baguette styley owing to the dodgy looking weather but with the inclusion of tortilla, as is Evans wont. This drew praise from Grover, who seemed impressed by the addition of cumin to the recipe, though he still insisted it was “indian eggy veg which has no place in an english cricket tea”.

Evan and Ahad began the chase. Perhaps because of the low target Exiles opened with two slow bowlers. They bowled well enough but with the pitch playing well it was easy for the batsman to get in. There were enough bad balls to hit, and following a bowling change, from one particularly nervous lad lots of wides, meaning no risks were necessary and despite some much better quick bowling towards the end Cowboys knocked off the runs inside 22 overs without losing a wicket. Ahad is yet to be dismissed for the Wuns.

Tim won man of the match for his figures of 8-6-8-2 and SteveO provided us with a fruity little number before we went back to HQ and met up with the victorious Toos for more beer and shouting at the telly.

Scorecard

Five at the farm

                                                                           Iggy writes:

It was another one of those "will it , won't it" rain days. The man from Midsomer Norton (groundsman) he say Yes, but only if it didn't rain again.

There was a last minute rush around to try and get hold of a tarp of some sort; to cover the wicket when the predicted showers came in, we couldn't get anything big enough, so that was the end of that.

Upon arrival at The Farm it was pretty obvious that there was going to be a shower or two. We spotted what looked like a tarp, locked away in the mower shed, there was a small gap at the top of the partition wall, and our Ollie was chosen, mostly because of his slender build and his agility, to take on the mission. He went up the wall like Spiderman and slid through that gap like a Giro though a letter box. Turns out it wasn't a tarp but a big Gazebo, nice one that will do the job.

Right, so The Plan; win the toss, bowl em out quickly, get the runs even more quickly and get to the pub to watch Brazil vs Chile.

RT1 and Kalu opened the attack on a drying but sticky strip, their opening batsmen were smart and got off to a flyer hitting anything short or wide straight to the boundary and ran very well between the stumps. Kalu got the big fella, caught by Tim at cover.

The 1st change brought the wickets Jules got the opener who was starting to look dangerous, caught behind by Ollie , who had charged the square leg umpire screaming obscenities en route, from behind his Hannibal Lector mask, in the previous over.
Wickets then fell regularly, the pressure of the tight bowling getting to them. Tim and Jules taking 8 wickets between them, all out for 92 in the 30th over. Great bowling great fielding and quick change arounds between over’s, they didn't get a look in.

Their skipper, who was in full rain dance mode, begrudgingly allowed us to go out and bat for 10 overs as the tea wasn't ready yet and it was sure to rain soon.
Evan had strict instructions to bat like a twat, and that he did, not wasting any time gaining a 100% strike rate for his 3, that brought Tooley to the crease, who also wasted no time, with Ahad playing sensibly at the other end, Dave hit a quick 42 in 18 balls to put the game in the bag before getting caught out by a low straight one.

The 10th over came and we had to come off for tea, still needing 20 odd runs. Then our gazebo came into use as the heavens opened, it did its job and kept the wicket dry enough to go back out on, when the rain stopped.

Ahad and Angelo went out to finish the job, with the pressure off, saw us home with ease in the 15 th over.

Not quite as planned but still caught the second half of the footy.

Tim T got MoM for the second week in a row for a fine bowling performance, His 5for costing him a jug back at the plough.

Ollie (Hannibal) Groom, won cider moment for his Umpire charge.

Ahad gets a special mention, for his 3rd not out in a row , Keep it going mate.

Scorecard

Serendip skittled

 

 

Ev writes : 

The Winford ground looked lovely in the June sunshine. It was easy to forget this was an away game, Winford being our old patch, and indeed at least one cowboy marched into the opposition (home) changing room on arrival by mistake.

As Iggy strolled out for the coin toss with the Serendip skipper, the Red Arrows aerial display team appeared over the horizon and looped the loop and billowed smoke directly above us. This caused Iggy to call incorrectly and Serendip opted to bat first.

The pitch had been baked hard in the recent hot spell and looked flat enough. However it was soon apparent that there were a few demons present, particularly at the bottom end on a good length. Tim, bowling down the slope exploited this well, bowling full and getting bounce, and with Ollie stood up, had the batsmen pinned back right from the off.

Coming up the hill, once he found his range, Rob too found bounce from a length. After passing the bat a few times a big edge flew straight into Ollies gloves but the batsman chose not to walk. A few balls later same bat mistimed one high to Iggy at mid off, who took the catch (the first of 3 taken by Iggy), albeit with a look of utter terror on his face.

Tim bowled 2 or perhaps 3 with Yorker length balls which dipped late due to Tim doing something mysterious with his fingers on delivery. Whatever it was it worked.

Kalu took over from Rob and got bounce and some turn. Serendip had lost wickets regularly and the only batsman who had stuck around long enough to get himself in was a left hander who was now enjoying himself, the ball being softer and doing less, and was hitting boundaries around the ground.

There followed a stubborn 9th wicket partnership. The left hander farming the strike and their number 10 scoring the occasional streaky boundary. Samad eventually had the left hand caught pulling a short one to deep square leg, Rob taking the catch low down and winning the cider moment in the process. Shortly after Samad cleaned up the last man as well and Cowboys had bowled out Serendip for 117 somewhere around the 25 over mark.

Tea was generic, lifted a bit by Kiplings Bakewell tarts, mmm, my favourite.

Evan and Ahad opened in reply. Now the pitch was much easier, and other than some mild controversy around a suspect bowling action the innings proceeded unremarkably, and perhaps a little boringly apart from the odd stroke from Ahad.
 

The openers had put on 60 when to the relief of those watching, Evan had a slog across the line and was bowled for 27, just as the Red Arrows reappeared over the trees.

Ahad picked up the pace a little now, playing some deft wristy strokes, and some hard slapped straight drives. After playing a few shots Dave T had a go at a wide one and played on. Simon played too early at a short one and was bowled.

Ahad and Ange saw us home, Ange unselfishly refusing runs so that Ahad might reach his half century before the target was achieved. But when Ahad hit the winning runs with a 4 behind square he had made 46 not out. Cowboys winning by 7 wickets not much after 6pm.

Steveo provided some cold beers and we voted Tim man of the match for his excellent opening spell.
 

Scorecard