The lady and the gentlemen

With no sign of inclement weather to curtail the afternoon, the Saturday 1st XI travelled to the pristine grounds of Downside School in Stratton-on-the-Fosse to play S-o-t-F 2nd XI. The pitch was slightly damp from overnight rain and Iggy had little hesitation in asking the opposition to bat after yet again winning the toss. The mathematics professors duly attempted to calculate the probability, if not the absurdity, of correctly calling a coin ten times in a row, but to accompanying puffs of smoke and the grinding of cog wheels, their brains exploded.

(0.5x0.5x0.5x0.5x0.5x0.5x0.5x0.5x0.5x0.5x0.5 = 0.00048828125 = 1/2048 = 2048 to 1 ?) (5 marks)

RT1 and Garnier took the new ball, exerting pressure once they'd adjusted their sights, RT1 making an early breakthrough when he bowled the No.1 with only a couple of runs on the board. With the field alert and buoyed by success, the batsmen found runs hard to come by and when Garnier's guile knocked over Nos. 3 & 4 with the score on 18, the inappropriately named 'Down-Ciders' had a leak in their flagon.

Kalu and Tim replaced the successful opening bowlers as the hitherto quiet No.2 batsman hit out and upped the run rate, but a very sharp catch from Ollie behind the stumps saw off the No.5 with the score on 38-4. On a slow pitch the batsmen struggled to score off Kalu but found runs from the other end as the tall No.2 drove aerially to the boundary, once grazing the not so small RT2's finger (fined). RT1 made no mistake with a regulation catch off Kalu to end the partnership and a few runs later Kalu struck again, bowling the danger man and reducing the score to 73-6.

With a bag of bowlers still up his sleeve and each so far having bowled six, Iggy brought on the algebraic pairing of 2AB: AndyB and AB. Both bowled economically, apart from a smattering of wides that were cumulatively to become the second highest scorer, but it was Andy who removed the next batsman thanks to an RT2 catch and without the score advancing got another, who played straight into Kalu's hands at leg slip: 84-8. Offering little resistance, Andy cut off the rest of the tail too; one caught by Garnier, the last young man bowled, to end with a fine 4-11 from nineteen balls and the innings closed on 92 in the 29th over.

Without pausing between innings, the Cowboys set about facing ten overs before the interlude and with much associated scurrying the batsmen and umpires prepared themselves. The distance between the pitch and the pavilion being greater than that between the pitch and the woods, RT1's choice of venue for his required comfort break was understandable, unless you didn't like that sort of thing and a nearby exclamation of haughty disgust suggested that somebody didn't: Vociferously proclaiming, "This is a game for gentlemen," the lady took much placating as she threatened protestations to the league, the skipper's apologies falling on cloth ears.

With their catheters in place, Ev and RT2 starting off positively, solid in defence and alert to scoring possibilities: It was RT2's keenness that led to his demise when he was run out backing up, Ev propelling a ball straight back that the bowler deflected onto the stumps.

Upstairs in the pavilion, overlooking the 1st XI pitch with the school and the abbey behind, the surroundings outshone the perfectly adequate tea.

After the resumption, a mackerel sky heralding a changing weather front, DaveT and Ev continued their partnership. The former outscored the latter, both playing straight and appearing in control, the opposition having no choice but to set an attacking field and hope to exploit any swing that their bowlers could extract from the conditions. With the score just short of fifty, Dave was the first to go, bowled for 21 and as Ev now started playing more expansive shots, Ollie tried to find his feet.

Having struck some powerful blows and wound up the bowler to a chuntering state, Ev was caught for 20, the score now on 61-3. Kalu and Ollie found the going tough, the requisite timing eluding them, the former holing out early bringing AB to the wicket, who soon settled in and began to dominate the bowling, finding the boundary with a series of pugnacious shots that put the outcome of the match in no doubt. Some time after the ringing of the six o'clock Angelus bell, the hapless young opposition No.11 was given the ball, the only delivery from whom was hit for five as AB secured the win by six wickets, remaining unbeaten on 25.

AndyB got the MotM vote for his tidy and efficient clean up and Ollie's catch lost out to the incident of the outraged lady for the (Down)Cider Moment. Thirsty and in a dry spot, the Cowboys headed to Farmborough where they drank all the 2nd XI's beer and failed to help them to win. Sorry bout that. It's been suggested that fines from the 1st XI game be offered as reparation.


Scorecard

Springwatch Special : Ducks

Even after it seemed well done and dusted, some of the Cowboys exhibited great stamina and carried on: Garnier, RT1 & Lalith heroically refused to give up while others thought it was all over. The match might have ended hours earier in an almost humiliating defeat to bottom of the table Stratton on the Fosse, but at the Plough, boy could those Cowboys dance to that hippity hop music that they have these days.

"OMG, WTF happened there?" asked a magpie on the square at Farmborough as the Cowboys drained the barrels from the Ormigrove brewery."I blame the new caps", said a leatherjacket larvae, trying not to become a light supper, safe in the knowledge that fines for such dissent had already been dished out.

"Well", chirped a blackbird, who had witnessed the whole of the afternoon's proceedings from the shade of a boundary chestnut tree, " It went a little something like this."

As a mere formality, the skipper tossed a coin with his opposite number, won again and asked the opposition to bat against his octet of bowlers: A hot afternoon in the field was guaranteed, despite a gusting north-easterly breeze.

RT1 and Garnier bowled with customary theodolite-accuracy, beating the bat on numerous occasions and limiting the batsmen to only a couple of runs an over, accumulated as the ball flew from edges across the fast outfield. Both eventually took out an opening batsman towards the end of their tidy spells to have the Fosse on around 50-2.

The Landlord further contained the incoming batsman and after many vociferous interrogations of the umpire removed one LBW, then clipped the top of another's off stump. Nice. SteveO swung his jazz from the other end but was wicketless and the No.3 batsman, who'd been let off the hook when a catch went down, soon commenced to make midsummer hay.

It wasn't to be MattD's day with the ball, nor Lalith's, as the batsmen found the boundary with regularity after drinks, accelerating the run rate, building on modest beginnings and pushing the total beyond that which had earlier been thought likely: This was the team after all that had been dismissed by Bath for 46, albeit now bolstered by a new No.3 batsman who had just scored a fifty.

Iggy then had a go, but it was wizard Wilko, the last of the octet, who eventually removed both batsmen with Preash taking a smart second catch behind the stumps. The opposition batted out the remaining overs of their innings without loss to end on 205-6.

Tea comprised more baguettes than there are in a Parisian boulangerie, but the entente cordiale was maintained by scones, cream and jam and the Rapid Tea Response Squad stood down.

If the skipper had been somewhat spoilt for choice with his bowling octopus, the batting looked like plankton, if not on paper then in the deep water that the Cowboys found themselves in a few overs later. Grove clung to the liferaft as his partners disappeared, prey to a fine spell of quick swing bowling that found edges and stumps, leaving the surface of the water littered with ducks. The score was barely in double figures with four wickets down.

Operating with a somewhat inverted batting order, all was not lost as there was better batting to come. Grover's resilience and MattD's purposeful belief moved the score along, but after the opening bowler's 4-17 the slower replacement bowling was almost as hard to get away. After playing well along the ground, occupying the crease and reaching double figures, Grover hit one in the air back to the bowler. Lalith didn't malinger, but in his eagerness holed out too soon.

With six wickets down and a steep hill to climb, MattD, who'd cracked some welcome boundaries, was joined at the wicket by Iggy; the pair of them still capable of stealing victory, the latter exhibiting immediate intent with a powerful straight boundary. It was uncanny that after his departure last week, we'd assumed that J.Burgess was a thousand miles away by now, only for his namesake to be bowling for the opposition, not to mention another Wilko at the other end. Perhaps it was these coincidences that Iggy was dwelling upon, with his head down, when JB2 came in to bowl, startling him when he wasn't expecting the delivery, too late to pull out of committing to play a stroke to the ball that bowled him.

SteveO tried to hang on but was bowled for the fourth of five ducks to waddle across the Cowboys' scorebook. Preash's spirited and capable resistance produced his first boundary for the team, followed by two much better ones, but when MattD was bowled for a Man of the Match winning 39, with the total struggling to reach three figures, the game was up. Cider Moments were hard to come by and even harder to remember after drowning sorrows later. No.11 RT1 should be congratulated on surviving more balls than seven of his teammates, on his way to his duck. Preash did his average no harm, remaining not out on 16: All out for 110 in the 36th over.

"I don't believe you," said the magpie.

Scorecard